She said yes!

In front of everyone she said “Yes!”

The yes was not just directed to the good times but subconsciously to the challenges we were to meet in the future too, I chose her not just that day but I chose her for the tomorrow’s we were to have, meaning I had decided to choose her in advance, dark or blue I chose her.

I chose her because I loved her and delighted in her, and I know she was my perfect fit. She was my everyday person, my go to zone although most times she was absent still I chose her. I chose her when it didn’t make sense, I chose her when choosing her hurt. I chose her when she could and couldn’t, when she did and didn’t.

Remember when everyone thought I was crazy, I chose her.

Isn’t it fascinating that the words you swear in front of the public, the same words we use to entice the public could become a test in our real lives. All of the sudden, reality hits and things smash and that is the reality we live in, that things can crumble before you and whoever is can become a was within a blink of an eye.

Yes! It could happen…… and life will still go on.

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A heart so heavy

From the 2nd of Nov 2018 to the 29th of March 2019 I wept😥😭😭 every night, every morning thinking it was all a joke or a mistake, thinking it will come back, thinking I was robbed. Day in, day out the feeling never left me, and every memory reminded me of how ungrateful I was, I blamed myself for a thing I had no control over.

Although I picked my self up every morning and looked super pretty💃, this was a wound that never seemed to get better, I’d convince my self that I was getting better whilst in my heart I knew very well that I was cut deep💔. I hid my tears from my family and to my friends I’d act as if it was a thing of the past, but it was still affecting me. You know how I know it was still affecting me? Because every time they would make a joke about it, I would facade a laugh🤣 but soon as I was absent from them I would leak😭 so hard that I felt I was back to square one.

I thought I’d heard God say “it will come back” and that is the only hope I had focused on, I had educated myself to survive based on this hope and I missed how much I was cultivating without it🙈, then on the 29th of March it actually came back however it was not what I’d hope it would be.

Imagine crying yourself to sleep that when you had awaken you felt like passing out, simply because of something you had fantasised to be bigger than it was, imagine beating yourself over something you had no control over, imagine aging with bitterness within yourself just because you focused on what your lens gave you when there is a bigger picture🤳, imagine staying where you are right now because you are scared of change or scared to forgive or maybe scarred to move on.

Sometime the delusion we hold on to, so dearly within our hearts will not give us the peace and satisfaction that we deserve. Move forward, let it go and stop missing what is on front of you, because in front of you lies the beauty of life.

I wise man I know once said “we have no control over what will hurt us, but it is a choice to heal”

I urge you therefore, choose healing today❤️❤️❤️.

Depression is real in the hood

My God where do I even start??!!

I live in the east rand, amongst people I grew up with… Some are older and others are young , man and women we all facing similar situation and we deal with things differently, educated and non educated, some are working and others are unemployed.

We often hear stories about people commiting suicide,etc.

Mfethu it is sad that we overlook each other and yet we can help each other.

Our communities look intimate, yet members are so drifted apart. We have something different, something that other communities long for, we can genuinely help each other, spread love and light, only if we could stop being self-centered.

Let’s be accountable

Our own brothers and sisters are dying

Better days ahead.

That too shall pass.. Whatever you going through, I want you to remember there will be better days …actually better days already exist ahead of you.

“All things” be it good or bad “work together for the good of those who love God”…you might not see it now, God is for you and not against you.

I just wanted to remind you that what ever you are going through, it is memory of another day, filled with wisdom, power,peace and sound, and it shall definitely pass.

God is with you