Those that are meant to protect us, are against us.
Where do we go? Who do we turn to?
Our fathers, uncles, brothers, male friends, partners, colleagues and neighbours have turned a deaf ear to our cries, we are desecrated, abused and brutally murdered all the time…our lives are at the mercy of men because we often have to negotiate our freedom from them.
We are terrified.
Till when we must apologise for our existence, we have been crying similar cries in different bodies, we are not heard…what must happen for us to be heard? Has being born a girl child become a detestable sin in men’s eyes? yet because of this we keep apologising and negotiating our freedom from men because this has become a man’s world however we are not safe still in schools, our working places, streets and in our homes.
We might not believe it, because belief to us only makes sense when it points to the positive but we forget belief is accompanied by actions…and when you act contrary to what you “believe”, that is truly what you believe in.
So many times the wars that we think are encircling around us well actually in us, are wars in our heads…wars that we have allowed to navigate our emotions ,wars we seemingly create for ourselves and wars we choose daily to ponder on and sometimes wars that do not even exist.
The mind is a titanic place, depending on its carriers limitations…you choose what you want to add on it daily, you choose to fire, hire or to remain the same by what you allow in your head and often your responses to life are evident reflections of your mind, which also speaks about you…you are your thoughts and your thoughts are you.
So many times we get our allies in distress with themselves because we have set a picture in our heads of how things will work out and when things do not meet our expectations…we give hell to ourselves and to them, putting a pause that may never resume on all that lies before us but mostly posing unintentionally questions to others that questions their identities, when we should question ours because there is no way that everybody is wrong but yourself.
Sometimes it is things we were uncovered to about ourselves by others though they were not truth but we have worn them on a daily and because of that, “these” things have became us, yet they are not really us but they are us because subconsciously we operate from them every day, see that is how powerful the mind is ….because to others these beliefs they allow them to prosper but to others they give them constant suicidal thoughts.
Hey, have you checked your mind? Your thought patterns??? What do they say?
Who are you? What are you capable of? Where are you going?
I need you to think about these questions, I need you to not give two worded answers on them…search yourself, write them down then afterwards ask yourself Who do you want to be and Where do you want to go because you more than capable of anything you put your mind to.
I need you to allow your mind to be transformed every day that you may see from a new perspective daily, that you may stop seeing things from yesterday’s perspective because it will limit your abilities and your happiness.
And that you may learn to forgive yourself and others that wronged you.
Weird how we always miss the things we deem as small yet they are important in life, how we mostly resort to “big things” that often leave us miserable and afraid and lonely. Whatever happened to happiness, to a celebration of small achievements, to being alive and living in the moment.
We often want to run ahead of the times, to foresee what tomorrow will come with or Friday or next year but we never see how that deed steals from us, because we always want to be comfortable or to curb any undesirable moments…we are alive but in the moment we are really dead.
Sure life comes with uncertainties, some of them we do not have control over but right here and right now, can we live, laugh and learn from each other. Can we not define ourselves from moments that broke us, stole from us and destroyed us? Can we not become a shell of ourselves? Can we stop dragging a luggage full of the terrors of our lives?
You are here in the moment for a reason and the reason is to……
I thought closure would get me out of the misery of these thirsty feelings within me, I lied because closure did not work for us instead it made matters worse, to a point it almost erased all the blissful memories we were present within.
I am sad to be honest, That we never worked out. I am really sad because you were my one, my best and my safe haven.
I love you, that will never change…how could it? Though things never worked out for us, I know things will work out for you and for me individually.
Somewhere between then and now, I know we grew up and, I chose to remember how beautiful it was, because then it was real.
I am letting you go now, as I continue running my race with beauty, love and liveliness
We live in a generation that has re-defined the meaning of faithfulness to comfort us.
It is sad how we think we doing others a favour by being faithful or should I say by looking faithful. We very seldom think of ourselves when we think of faithfulness, it almost feels like we doing others justice or we doing an act so we become acceptable to the public, most times we assume it is a deed that qualifies us to stand boldly on the throne of God, ok perhaps it is but being faithful says a lot about the true you.
A faithful person will remain true regardless of whether people are looking or not. Meaning every day and every hour a person remains authentic not to people but to self. A faithful person will not be persuaded by storms or even by what appeals as a perfect weather.
Being faithful says a lot about your charisma, it is a principle that you elect to honour or not…and no matter how hard you try to conceal your character at the end it will come to the surface.
We often take what others do to us sooooo personal, to a point we even begin doubting ourselves, or being suicidal or even coming to change our principles, missing the most important fact…. that you have not been a problem, that person was simply exposing who they are to you. Should it have not been you, should someone have occupied the space that you occupied in this person’s being, they would still do the same, because it is who they are.
Now! Next time you decide to be faithful know that you are doing it for yourself more than anyone. Yes, it will have an impact on others but to you it is everything.
I can never un-know you no matter what the situation, not even when I try to snub the feeling of your passing. It feels so unreal that you were here, yet are not here.
I used to see you, touch you and speak to you. At times you would chase me around… And now and then your laughter would also blow me to laughter even though I didn’t know what you were laughing at. Most times even the sound of your cough would make me think you were laughing and I’d start giggling Hahaha only to find that again I was laughing alone but you’ve never left me ashamed instead you would join me at laughing at nothing.
Yeah, although the scent of your cologne would dwell I’m a room after your exit and how I could easily distinguish between your socks or favourite cap… Surely your presence could never be missed then, I might not bump into these things now but your absence is felt on the inside of me and I am but left with a memory of your laughter and your echoing voice within me can never turnoff.
You are laying in a box and I thought I’d find peace seeing you for the last time however I cannot even recognise you…yes I am looking at you but I cannot find you… And that is probably why my heart aches that I am looking for your beautiful spirit in an absent body, when your spirit lives forever within me.
Although I won’t see you a few minutes from now, there is no ways you don’t exist… You are somewhere and one day we probably will connect again and I know you shall be proud of your girl.